White Evansville

By white, I mean snow-covered. Everyone who said "Gee, wouldn't it be nice to have a white Christmas," and "I LIKE snow," I hope you realize what you've done. 22 inches fell on Sodom, I mean Evansville. And it is disappearing into massive puddles of dirty slush. I know everyone reading this has seen Groundhog Day, and I ask you to remember the scene where Bill Murray's leg slipped off the curb. I no longer find that scene funny.
If snow was some sort of sign that winter had arrived, that hot chocolate and mulled grog would be enjoyed for a time, my attitude would be different.
At the same time, I realize that the weather could be much worse. I felt humbled seeing pictures of destroyed Sri Lankan villages and hearing concerns that contaminated water might cause as many deaths as the tsunmis did.
Sometimes there just isn't a reason and finding comfort in that knowledge seems strange.
On a completely different note, I really enjoy Run DMC. Especially "whose house, RUN'S HOUSE." I need to rent Crush Groove again.

Dr. Michael Speak Tha Truth

Sometimes I read something really funny or simply kind of amusing and laugh out loud. When I do this I think of my brother, who has the propensity for doing the same. Usually he and I think the same things are funny.
You gotta read this. If its not funny, I'm sorry. Sort of.

http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000146.php

Correction

I apologize for my ignorance. Desperate Housewives is a show for all adults and I'm sorry that I made it out to be "a Lifetime wannabe."

Today is my boss's last day at work before she is gone until the New Year. I had a small gift for her, but instead of giving it to her straight away, I put it in her box and then had another manager give it to her. At the time I had these visions of her being surprised but realize that she and I both know we don't like talking to each other. In fact, for whatever reason, being in each others' presence ranges from slightly to overwhelmingly uncomfortable, depending on how much she is trying to help me (read: has nothing to do herself.)

Holiday Cheer

I was all set to post about my horrible afternoon at the mall, getting the remainder of the presents. But it went quickly. As long as you don't stop and know exactly what you are getting and are greeted by salespeople who are familiar with a cash register, all is good. I will read this next year and find some sort of solace. Maybe. The only bad part was that it was 20 degrees and I had to park a ways away from the entrance. I did find that Victoria's Secret Beauty sells gift certificates that can be used at the regular "lingerie" stores.

I spoke with a guy who was helped by a salesperson who thought he was buying thongs for his sister. She was very cheerful and guided him to "that which he thought was within his budget." He stammered and sputtered (once the slow moron realized that high school girls were following him and that the assumption by the equally-slow saleswoman was natural) that they were for his "kinda, sorta, not-really girlfriend."
I wish I could've been there to witness the proceedings. I can assure you that he was neither convincing and probably thinking about the underage girls shadowing him when he plead his case.

On a similarly uncomfortable topic, I just spoke to my friend's father, who i was certain was my friend's stoner homie. Who, over the age of 35 watches Desperate Housewives? Or giggles when I say I've never watched it?
Seriously.
This sign next to my house, at some instrument/music store, says "you won't get the girl playing xbox." I think to myself, every single time I see it, you won't get the girl playing 3-chord measures of Stairway to Heaven either.
I made kick-rear White Chocolate Cranberry Bliss Bars today. They are like the ones currently available at Starbux only less corporately-overpriced. If you come to my house, I will sell you one for just .50.

Rant

Its Monday but I'm already dreading Friday. That usually blissful day will include an overload of Christmas cheer following a trip to Schnucks. What is that? Schnucks? It sounds like something you'd blurt to avoid offending your grandmother. E. is right. I do a lot of fairly nontraditional (not the word he used) activities for my job. I've stopped thinking why and have restarted the zen-like bliss I want to have every day whilst looking at these beige cubicle walls.
If you are at all familiar with the obscenity case involving 2 Live Crew, let me know. I will be thinking a lot about it tonight.
Why do people feel pressed to comment when they see a newborn with a lot of hair? Children aren't usually born blind and hairless like my sweet rodent babies. Or maybe I've been led astray all these years.
Some people spam blogs. Those people are sick and wrong.
If you bring an food item for the adopted families, you do not have to attach the ornament stating what it is to the package. I know the heavy jar with thick red liquid is spaghetti sauce.
Mr. G, I know you are single and meeting that special someone is important. But your cologne made me throw up in my mouth...just a little. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Today I'm meeting Sir for lunch. I have a feeling I'm going to get no help on what to get him for Christmas. He may end up with a cigar like last year.
The song I'm really digging right now is Outlandish's Aicha. Yes, they are a more creative, European, swarthy version of the Backstreet Boys. But that song is so sweet and catchy. The best part is that Aicha seems to be a single mother and the O-boys are just fine with that. With lines revering God and choice French phrases, they got themselves a hit.
If you get a chance, check out http://andreaseigel.typepad.com/afternoon ~ her entry for today is funny, sweet, sad and incredibly well-written.

O Christmas Tree

Vincent had surgery today. We haven't heard anything one way or another how it went. He's really strong and the biggest sadness about it is that he will be slowed down until March. We visited him last night at the hospital and he was so excited about everyone there. The man loves attention and people. He showed us the special wash he has to use before surgery -- all those germs, ya know. I wish Vincent's girl was there so I could see him beam.
An admin at work was taken away by ambulance a few days ago because of the enormous Christmas tree in the lobby. Apparently she is very allergic to fir or pine or whatever kind of monstrosity they have laden with the most gaudy ornaments available.
She is working at a building close by until the holiday season is over.

Askew

I just saw a Magic 8 ball on my boss's supervisor's desk. Something about that man is just a little shaky and I'm beginning to understand. I just want to know, does he use the 8ball to decide whether to go to lunch with the "crew" or is it for more serious questions like whether to allow a promotion?

Vincent

Vincent is our 82 or 83 year old neighbor. He lives alone and is always busy doing something, whether it be making sure that his hedges are completely uniform in shape or mowing his grass semi-compulsively. Lately, we hadn't been seeing much of ol' Vince-O. There just hasn't been as much yard maintenance needed. Yesterday, his son-in-law came over to tell us that Vincent had been walking with his girlfriend at the mall and out of the blue, passed out. So he's in the hospital, frustrated as I can imagine, getting tests done.
I feel a bit guilty, not having brought V. any baked goods recently or visiting to see his Christmas decorations. I'm comforted that he has a 75 year old lady, that challenges him to walk quickly and embrace life.

Keeping it Together

This week is just been bad. I wish I had a fast forward button to get past the rest of today and tomorrow.
I screwed up at work and people are inconvenienced as a result. Its not a big deal (no money involved) but the fact that I have so little to do just makes it that much worse.
The interview went really well. I know that if they chose me I would have a challenging position with a nice supervisor. Plus I wouldn't have to take down the Christmas tree. Hopefully.
I'm excited about making lots of cookies on Monday for the exchange. If only I could cook for people all the time.