I don't know why I can't do what I intend to do. I intend in trying to before I post again. Right after I posted this I thought, this is stupid, I'm being silly. But then I let it sit for a few minutes before writing anything else...just gathering things together, I guess. I thought about what 'rini and i talked about before...she's so awesome, I love her, two doctors, WOW!
I realize I'm fortunate for everything I have and will have in this life...just because of who I know, have known and will know...I just want to do my best and it stresses me out. I should be thinking about people at the end of their life; making everything the best I can for those I'm resposible for...its a lot of weight to bear as I walk out of the building everyday.
I realize I spent tooo much time thinking about semesters eand too little time thinking about people. We're going to a new church on Sunday and I'm going to refocus; spend most of my time concentrating on where I want to be.
When I think about living in Indiana, going to New Harmony, having kids, doing the best I can with what I have...I don't miss it. It makes me wistful, but also realistic...that wouldn't last long, for sure, my life would be short and sore, sad and I would report it as good.
I love you Grammy. I realize now how hard life is without someone you love so much. I just keep moving on...someday I will have a marriage like yours.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
More Things, Maybe up to 20
1. I heard an En Vogue song today and I remembered how much I loved that group of ladies.
2. Whenever I think of something I haven't come across lately (like En Vogue for example), I wonder what they are doing now and if the aftermath of fame treated them alright.
3. It costs a lot more to live in Denver than in Indiana. How can it be less $$ to pay a mortgage but much more worth it to rent?
4. I think I've really gotten as stressed as I can possibly be for the holidays already and Thanksgiving isn't for another 2 weeks. I'm just going to chill and be relaxed...I think E (and the rats) like me better this way.
5. That movie with Michael Keaton--Multiplicity...or something like that, where the clones get dumber the more copied they are, reminds me of people at work. I think some of these people are clones of clones.
6. Sometime I'm going to ask someone what it was like being a man and how they like their new life as a woman.
7. I worry sometimes that I could lose the ability to keep what I say in my head from coming out of my mouth, resulting in something like #6 being said.
8. I think sometimes I say I'm bad with names because unless I really want to remember, I don't. Its just not something that sticks in my head without making a conscious effort.
9. I with there was an indoor amusement park close by. I don't even know if those exist in the United States unless you count Camp Snoopy at the Mall of America. I don't. I could really go for a nice ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl or Octopus right now.
10. Maybe the Office will be on TV forever. I know that forever is a long time, but it could be the first neverending show. I would settle for it being on as long as Cheers.
11. I can't get to 20 today. I need to do paperwork.
2. Whenever I think of something I haven't come across lately (like En Vogue for example), I wonder what they are doing now and if the aftermath of fame treated them alright.
3. It costs a lot more to live in Denver than in Indiana. How can it be less $$ to pay a mortgage but much more worth it to rent?
4. I think I've really gotten as stressed as I can possibly be for the holidays already and Thanksgiving isn't for another 2 weeks. I'm just going to chill and be relaxed...I think E (and the rats) like me better this way.
5. That movie with Michael Keaton--Multiplicity...or something like that, where the clones get dumber the more copied they are, reminds me of people at work. I think some of these people are clones of clones.
6. Sometime I'm going to ask someone what it was like being a man and how they like their new life as a woman.
7. I worry sometimes that I could lose the ability to keep what I say in my head from coming out of my mouth, resulting in something like #6 being said.
8. I think sometimes I say I'm bad with names because unless I really want to remember, I don't. Its just not something that sticks in my head without making a conscious effort.
9. I with there was an indoor amusement park close by. I don't even know if those exist in the United States unless you count Camp Snoopy at the Mall of America. I don't. I could really go for a nice ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl or Octopus right now.
10. Maybe the Office will be on TV forever. I know that forever is a long time, but it could be the first neverending show. I would settle for it being on as long as Cheers.
11. I can't get to 20 today. I need to do paperwork.
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