Like the Red Panda

"I told her, 'You know what? You're like the Red Panda. Tomorrow everybody will be staring at the crowd and looking for you and you won't even be there.'"

When the days flow together and the sadness of loss becomes overwhelming, the thoughts of leaving all the drama, headache and emotional intensity of the life I lead behind intensify. To go somewhere, even for a little while, where no one expects anything and I am free to do what I please, sounds so nice.

I am realizing responsibilities that arise out of mistakes, of escaping one situation and finding yourself, as if in a dream, right in the middle of another, are beyond comprehension.

When I was younger, I used to ask questions about why things were the way they were. And then I would ask why, were those things the way they were. And I always got answers, which made perfect sense according to where I was at that time. As I grow older, I realize that many of those answers were falss, but gave me hope and the ability to act, instead of being rendered helpless ~ weighed down by the baggage of life in general.

And yet, every day, I cannot help but look for things, people, actions, etc that give true meaning to what I struggle with. And that keeps me here.

Gross, But I'd Eat It

I'm not really a big junk food person. I used to really really like sour candy and those fried mushrooms from Dairy Queen. Now, my biggest craving in that regard is hot wings. I love them and regret that Mojo's, the local hot wing joint in my hometown won't be open when I'm back this summer.

Anyway, I read this blog called Cooked Books. http://cookedbooks.blogspot.com/

It is about "all things culinary at the New York Public Library."

Anyway, the author writes about a fast-food chain I'd never heard about ~ Friendly's. http://www.friendlys.com/

The reason I'd never heard about it is that the closest location is in north-central Ohio.

However, they do have this ~ which is unique and slightly disgusting: the Fishamajig.

It is exactly what it looks like, a grilled cheese sandwich with mayo and breaded fish. MMMM.

In other news, this month is full of some pretty exciting changes, events etc. E is done with school until the fall, his friend Abby is coming out to visit, my friend Maelynn is coming out to visit, the kitchen at work has closed and is being remodeled...there's a new apartment in an entirely different part of town (a lot closer to work, which is nice) and more stuff that you'll have to contact me to find out. =)