My Version

Some blogs call it a "to-do" list. I'm just calling it a montage of attractive faces that I"ll look at when I need some cheering up.

...A model named Christian Monzon


and, of course, ZB

This Is It

Every day as I drive to work, I see the outside of a door. The only difference between this door and any other is that it is positioned on the side of a second-story house. So theoretically, an unsuspecting person could open it and fall to the ground.
I think that the start of each New Year is a lot like this door. You have to trust that you won't fall, no matter where the doors open. Or if you fall, know that life is about falling, picking yourself up and moving on.
It is also important to remember that you can only change yourself to some extent, and you cannot change those around you. No matter what you decide your actions will be for 2006, the previous year and the people around you will affect those choices.

Be at peace. There is nothing worse than an invisible source gnawing at your insides. I know from experience that pain and hate will nibble on you until you are raw. In the end, it just takes longer to heal.

Don't look back. The past is gone. Fix what you need to and move ahead. Understand that you only get today (most likely tomorrow, as well, but you know what I'm trying to say here).
Stick up for yourself. As my mother once said (I needed to hear it more than she will never know), in the end, you are the only person who can take care of yourself.

Learn from your mistakes.
Take risks. I know I am and I'll let you know how things turn out.

Nothing is going on today except playing Tetris on the Sidekick thinking how cool it is that my cousin Clare slept for 18 hours straight. She was recovering from finals and coming down from a cold, but still. My knack for sleeping for 13-14 has nothing on that. On Friday I get to make stuffing for 19 people and am looking forward to it. All Christmas shopping is done and I'm just hoping that the 2 packages I'm waiting on will show up soon...

Big Doings

Today, two good things happened.
I delivered the presents donated from the department to a needy family in town.
It was really cool seeing the mom so happy. I think she was a little overwhelmed.
Even though she lives in what Evansville calls, "the projects," it is clear that there is a sense of community. She knows the neighbors by name, which is more than I can say for myself.

President Bush took responsibility for the faulty intelligence that led to the invasion of Iraq. A step towards the open and honest communication that should be taking place from the highest office on down. A lesson for all the ignorant politicians and overly political citizens that place blame on everyone else but themselves.

A good thing from last week ~ I was working the counter at Kitchen Affairs and said "Merry Christmas" to an elderly couple walking out the door. The owners of KA are Jewish, and the customers wanted to be all-inclusive, so they responded with a cheerful, "Happy Hanukkah." I feel good about the fact that even the idea of diversity is alive in Evansville. To some small extent.

No Dice

I can't be part time.
Today is just one of those days I shouldn't have gotten out of bed.

O Canada

I got Tom Green's book Hollywood Causes Canceron Thursday from the library and finished it early this afternoon.I must admit, I was more interested initially about what happened with Drew Barrymore than how he got his start and how his career progressed. I was a fan of his show since it came out and had my favorite episodes ~ the Plaid House, all the times he woke his parents up at 3am. etc.
I did feel bad for how he lost control of his life, somehow thought that Freddy Got Fingered would do well at the box office (just getting past the title itself is a feat), and especially his bout with testicular cancer.
As you can guess from the title. Tom's not a big fan of Hollywood. But I guess he deals with all the pretentiousness and obnoxious brown-nosing to continue...doing whatever it is he's doing now.* If I were him, I'd realize that hey, I've reached my goals and go teach comedy to kids. But maybe being slightly bitter and writing books is his thing. Maybe I'll buy the next one.

I digress...

The reason I love Tom so much is that he's not afraid to lay it out, I mean say exactly what's on his mind, regardless of who might be offended. For those who don't know, Tom is Canadian and spent the first 25-ish years of his life in Ottawa.

My favorite passage of the book (next to the Granny and the Suitcase story):
"Americans in general have the impression that Canadians are really polite, but they actually aren't. They are just polite to Americans because they are so in awe of them. It's funny to watch people I know in Canada. When there are no Americans around, they like to bag on America in the same way someone from a small town will bag on the big city. It comes from a place of national insecurity. That may be part of the reason so many comedians come from Canada. It's funny to watch the same people who talk down about America change tone when an "actual" American is in their presence. They completely shift gears, so desperately wanting to impress "The American." When you live in a nation that feels it is constantly overlooked, you really try to be on your best behavior when Daddy is in the room."

Interesting.


*I just read in his blog at tomgreen.com that he's getting into rap and plans to move to Nicaragua.

More Questions and Answers

I stole these from Matt who stole them from someone else. =)
The last ones for awhile, hopefully, because they are a sign that I'm really, really bored.


ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
right pinky finger - hot glue gun, I think I was 11 or so

WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
mostly bare, some beer signs and a poster or 2

WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
its bulky and does amazing things!! I have purple bumper covers on it.

WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
Anything happy or thought-provoking or with a good beat.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
It was around 7:00. I don't think anyone knows for sure because they were too busy staring at my tuft of dark hair, post-womb.

WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
a A&W rootbeer float and something fried

WHAT DO YOU MISS AT TIMES?
Being little, like age 4 or 5.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
If there was a fire, I'd get the rats and cats out first. But blankie would be right behind, along with pictures of my family.

DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
yes but only in large, noisy crowds

THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
He knows who he is

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME/COLOGNE ?
Aire, from Profumo di Pantelleria

WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I really dig dark hair

WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
I would be making an offer they couldn't refuse so hopefully in a homey setting with tasty (culinary) samples. I'm not talking marriage here!

WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
probably Jeff but it could be my boss...who knows =)

DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
not really, I try though

WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
a stuffed koala

WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
sure

WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
tell someone and make them keep it a secret, knowing they won't. Then when the person knows, deny it and make them feel awkward. heehee

SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED...
4

WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
485-3584

WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
when I cut myself in the same place with the same dull knife and the onion makes it sting really bad

HAVE YOU EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Yes, a memorable one involved 3-way and a 6th grader who is now semi out of the closet. I was 11. or 10. I think.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
putting up the office's Christmas tree. It went faster than last year, which is the most positive thing I can say about it.

IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY, WOULD YOU?
Yes but no one would know. Meaning it wouldn't be physically obvious.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
I'd go somewhere it wasn't and bring it back home.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
help with tuition and moving expenses

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING BLOOD?
put my hood up

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes, Emily Taylor and Emily Dickinson

DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
no, but I might tonight

WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
my scarred pinky

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
yes

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
anything smoked

ANY BAD HABITS?
i pick my blemishes and scabs

WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
Twista

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
maybe, if i was into weirdness at the time

HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
sure

DO LOOKS MATTER?
not as much as they used to

HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
i bite my lip and/or cry

WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
lawrence, kansas, westside

DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
yup

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
i had this cabbage-patch tent that was pretty cool. Also Joy, my cabbage patch doll who I pretended was my sister

WHAT CLASS IN SCHOOL DO YOU THINK IS TOTALLY USELESS?
Home ec; most people forget what they've learned before they get a chance to use it

DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
you're reading it

DO YOU USE SARCASM?
not really, people can't tell that I'm joking and I tend to use it inappropriately

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
yes, i've never been so sweaty. it was awesome and I wish I could relive it.

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
they have to be interesting, above all else

WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Em, Pipsqueak, Emma, Stinkee

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
no

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF ?
sometimes, I've been trying harder to remember since I found out that the footbed of the athletic shoe is damaged when I don't.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
key lime pie (with chunks of graham cracker)

SHOE SIZE?
7

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS?
any shade of blue in the sky

HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
none

WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
my family

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
the sound of muffled laughter in the conference room

LAST THING YOU ATE?
homemade apple granola

THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
how tall they are

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
rockin' and rollin;

Finally

I finally bit the bullet and did what I should've a long, long time ago. I asked if I could work half-time for the Big, Ugly Corporation instead of wasting their money and my time forty hours a week. We'll see what happens.

Its just time to work towards being happy as much of the day as I possibly can, not just the hours before 8 am and after 5pm.

Maybe I can do more catering stuff as well. Gotta drop my resume by a caterer's tomorrow...

More Things about Me

Three screen names that you have had: chimaybabe, emsdream, sillysouth4

Three things you don't like about yourself: I often learn things the hard way (is that hot? Ouch! Hmmm, is it really though? OUCH!),sometimes I'm really inconsiderate and the fact that I can't function if I'm excessively hungry or tired.

Three parts of your heritage: I'm 1/84th Cherokee, one of my Southard relatives was 3rd in line for the Presidency, some relatives on the Zumwalt side mostly likely had slaves

Three things that scare you: flesh-eating diseases, public ridicule and car accidents

Three of your everyday essentials: blankie, pillow and water

Three things you are wearing right now: sunscreen, knee-high hose and too-short green khakis

Three of your favorite songs:
Let's Get it On - Marvin Gaye, Sweet Dreams (are made of this) - Annie Lennox and One - U2

Three things I want in a relationship: a lot of laughter, sweet kisses and a ginormous amount of mind-reading.

Two truths and a lie:
I like smelling my hair, I often wear shoes to make myself taller and I get my nails done

Three things you like about yourself:
I can touch my toes while standing up, doing things for someone else makes me as happy as doing the same for myself, I can't stand being in a bad mood

Three things you can't do without: love, vegetables and shampoo

Three places you want to go on vacation: Germany, Tahiti and Peru

Three things you just can't do: scuba diving, make change using the "count-back" method, make small talk with a boring person for more than 5 minutes

Three kids' names: Henry, Ava, La'dontae

Three things you want to do before you die: climb more than half of the Fourteeners, teach a child what my parents taught me, travel extensively outside the US

Three Celeb crushes: Zach Braff, James Gandolfini and Jason Cerbone (the guy who played Jackie, Jr. on the Sopranos)

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: muscular arms, prominent nose and sexy voice

Three of your favorite hobbies: cooking, reading foodie magazines, playing with my rats

Three things you want to do really badly now: take a nap, eat chocolate, have a super hoppy beer

Three careers you're considering/you've considered: attorney, personal chef, dreamweaver

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy: I like watching sports on television, I hate to pay more than $10 for a haircut, and talking about my feelings makes me uncomfortable

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:I really enjoy shopping for cosmetics, I hate being physically unclean, and I worry about my ass being too fat

Schreien zu meinen Mädchen aus

To Aud...I miss you and the way you make me laugh and the way you tolerate my bizarreness

To Emily E...do you read my blog? I aspire to be like you in many ways.

To Jodi...I love how our friendship is making it through med school, silly boys and me living too far away.

To Kim K....You need to start a blog! I would enjoy reading it and making comments, too.

To Kristen...everything you've ever wanted is within your grasp and seeing you get it~bit by bit~will be incredibly exciting.

To Nath...I meant to say "Shout out to my girls" but I think I butchered German again. I'm sorry. Hopefully I will make it up to you with more funny posts. If you are looking for a good, quick, amazing read, check out "Shopgirl" by Steve Martin. Someday I will make it to Hamburg and we will have the best tasting EVER.

To Mom...I love that you are my Mom and that no one else is. I wouldn't be as resourceful, independent, wise and loving if I had anyone else.

Let me know if I missed anyone! Happy Friday!
I've got my first catering gig tomorrow...wooohooo

Cinematic Love Truck

...what is that, anyway?

It is unsettling seeing your gyno on a billboard when you stop at a traffic light.

I don't really have a lazy eye compared to Paris Hilton & Stuart Scott.

It takes real nerve to cancel your wedding 8 days before and keep all the gifts.

Comfort from an Unlikely Place

So I've been "a little late" coming back from lunch these days. No one cares. Instead of sitting, doing nothing, I've been working out at the YMCA and watching this man solve crimes, etc.

Magnum, P.I. reruns. I wish I could tell you why I like Tom Selleck. I also wish I could tell you that I accept the fact that he can't act so easily. Something about watching him--so confident, so relaxed--makes me feel better about going back to work.
Perhaps it is his confidence despite this picture, which clearly shows that he grooms his chest hair:

Perhaps its an 80's thing.
I wish he looked more like a young Colin Farrell though.

Violent Times

About 1:30 early Sunday morning, the storm sirens went off outside my window. In Kansas, that means that a tornado has been sighted in the area and to take cover. Here in Evansville, the sirens for severe thunderstorms...and tornados. The siren blasts for each are different, but no one knows how.
So I thought nothing of turning over and going back to sleep.
Here's a tame picture of what some parts of town look like right now:

At least 23 people have died, 17 of whom were living in a trailer park.
I wonder why tornados always seem to hit mobile homes.
My Dad suggested that the heat patterns attract them. Or maybe it seems like they are always hit because the end result is complete destruction.
The Kentucky side of the Ohio River was also hit:

I can't find a picture of Ellis Park (where the Newcomers' club had their horse racing/betting social) to show how parts were almost totally destroyed. It makes me sad to think of the horses, who never had a chance to escape.
Happier post soon, I promise.

New Additions

Meet Simon ~

And Murphy ~

They are both very sweet and most importantly, don't see the rats as something to eat. Each is about 5 yrs old.
Gosh I love animals.
Boston rawked!
It is #2 on my list of places to revisit. Key West is #1.

Bet You Didn't Know...

You Are Apple Cider

Smooth and comforting. But downright nasty when cold.

What Part of Fall Are You?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational. You are also giving and kind - a great friend. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Beantown, baby, BEANTOWN!

I'm mostly going for the New England Beer Fest but I'm so excited about going somewhere with so much history and political perspective. Can't wait. I'm definitely going to the Museum of Fine Arts and hopefully the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum too. I'd love to read and people-watch in Harvard Square. Most of all, I'm looking forward to just walking around and soaking up the atmosphere.

Caution: Naked Man Ahead

Say for some reason, you are bored at work. Your employer has restricted access to noncompany email. You enjoy reading blogs, much like you'd enjoy reading someone else's diary. You click on one, not expecting anything out of the ordinary.
Suddenly, there is a very very NSFW image in front of you. Definitely eye-opening. I really hope my "activities" were not being "monitored." YIKES!

Seriously though, if any of you ladies (or men, I won't tell) would like the link...just ask. I don't know how much longer it'll be up though.

Late Friday night, Sylvester the Rat left this earth. He was just shy of 37 months old and is missed. His love of food and enjoyment of life never wavered, though incontinence and hind-leg paralysis took their toll. Sylvester fathered 15 beautiful pups and his spirit lives on through his two cagemates and sons, Jason and Char.
Every day was a blessing and a joy for Sylvester. We should all be so lucky.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
I'm trying out the Special K diet. I think I'm going to be sick of Special K before the 2 weeks are up. If so, I will stop. I'm not unreasonable. :)

11 days until I go to Boston. Can't wait. Gotta get my beer fest fix there because I have to work during the Festival of Wood and Barrel-Aged Beers (AKA the FoBAB) in Chicago. Darn it.

Road Trip to the South, Y'all

This past Friday, I drove just under 6 hours to Atlanta, where my brother and sister go to college at Georgia Tech. I arrived as my sis was scrambling to get things ready for the annual volunteer day and bro was recovering from an NC State football loss the night before. Here is a pic of E-So in his teensy tiny room: Had a fun sushi dinner, went out to Peachtree Tavern where a band called Scum Bucket (hehe an 80s cover band) was playing.

The next day was really relaxing...I got up late, visited my sis, A-So at the Coliseum (and snuck in to take a pic of where KU kicked some Buzz last season)and saw the Mock Rock dancers practice in the Delta Chi basement--which was really cool because the guys are incorporating some neat stunts, including a "human jumprope."
In the afternoon, I saw a replica of the GT Ramblin' Wreck (the actual car is hidden in a garage somewhere)
and hung out until A-So was done volunteering. Dinner at "the Snack" (maybe it wasn't called that) and too much partying afterward.
The next day I got up reasonably early and the 3 of us went to a small Waffle House. I wish I could say I was impressed. I wish I could say the food was good. The multigrain waffle did a reasonably good job of keeping me full on the drive home.

Updates

I learn new things here in Evansville, but going to Lawrence seems to faciliate the process. My dad has so much going on in his head and I enjoy hearing everything ~ Roman history, bird sightings, current events. It all comes together.
I always seem to recall the odd things for my blog though.

Saturday night, The D, Jodi, Kris and I met up at the Tiger for dinner and beer. We noticed the lack of peanuts available to munch on. Possible patron allergies did them in. The D said that PB&J isn't allowed at school because of the same reason. If kids bring it, they have to go to a separate room to eat!
Seriously. If a trace of peanuts is enough to make you extremely sick, I think that you might want to reconsider going to public school.

I love traveling, especially taking long weekends to make the borrrrrring days at "the Gen" go faster. In 3 days I'll be headed to Atl, Georgia to chill with E and A. I got my Outkast sorted in my CD case so I can play it nonstop during the 6 hour drive, which I'm hoping will be closer to 5 and a half.
And now, lyrics courtesy of Sarah McLachlan to illustrate how my day feels~

Your love in all it's finery
Tear up the darkness all around me
Until I can breathe again
Until I believe again

Cause I'm a trainwreck
Waiting to happen
Waiting for someone to come pick me up off the tracks
A wild fire born of frustration
Born of a world, oh, that gets me so high
I've no fear at all

But your eyes like midnight fireflys
Light up the trenches where our loves lies
Until I can see again
Find my way back again

I've no fear at all
To fall so deep into you
Loose myself completely
In your sweet embrace
All my pain's erased

And your mouth, it's all that I wish
Mercy of your lips, just one kiss
Until I can breathe again
Until I can sing again

Cause I'm a trainwreck
Waiting to happen
Waiting for someone to come pick me up off the tracks
A wild fire born of frustration
Born of a world, oh, that gets me so high
I've no fear at all