Thoughts While At Work On A Sunday

The stock show is in town, which means there are more trailers, trucks and livestock on I-70 than usual. It also means that traffic is slow at really weird times. But this all makes sense ~ especially if you've ever been to a county fair.

What I find unusual is the Martin Luther King rodeo held tomorrow in conjunction with the stock show. I know when I think of racial equality, I think of cattle being roped and scary rodeo clowns.

The world's first antidepressant perfume came out recently. Its called Smiley (not making this up) and is designed to be uplifting. A picture of it is above. Notes include: Top notes of bergamot, orange and pimento berry ( instant picker-uppers and energizers). Middle notes of cocoa, praline and curacao "provide the joy" ... theobromine and phenyethylamine from cacao have an endorphin effect similar to eating chocolate. Bottom notes are patchouli, myrrh and musk. Unfortunately its not available in the United States ~ I would try it out at the local Sephora if it was.

I'm at work for a 1/2 day today because I'm manager on duty. This means I take care of anything that other senior staff would, but can't because they aren't here. I gave a tour, called maintenance and heard the nurses gripe.

Later today my mom is coming. I'm not sure what we're going to do. I get tomorrow (mostly) off because of manager-on-duty this weekend and its the "soft" opening of Indulge French Bistro, a really nice little place that E is helping to get running. I'm really excited about her being here and having what is going to be a really amazing meal.

a quote to reflect on

Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.
~Henry Ward Beecher

Hello 2008

I think a lot of my life can be summed up by this great quote by the actor Steve Martin. I've changed it only to reflect present tense.

"Yes, these events are true, yet sometimes they seemed to have happened to someone else, and I often feel like a curious onlooker or someone trying to remember a dream. "

I was asked yesterday what my resolutions are and I responded that I want to make sure that they can be followed through on before making them known. Today I realize that there is no other option ~ to grow and become better, I need to have courage in every aspect of my life, to have wisdom to know what needs to be changed and the ability to follow through. The hardest part about this (almost overwhelming) resolution is that I can't do it alone. It is so much easier to rely solely on yourself and then, when failure occurs, to say well, I did my best.

A lot of life isn't about doing your best. It is picking up the pieces in whatever arrangement they fall in and putting them together again. Most times, the new configuration is better, or at least better suited to the new circumstances. You can't put a square peg into a round hole. =)

Both great and terrible happened in 2007. Much of it was because of choices I made. What I learned: you can't control other people ~ their decisions, their opinions, their ideas about what needs to occur. The people you need in your life are the ones who let you be yourself, who will be honest but also understanding.

I also learned: to lead others; that growth is painful and change inevitable, pain doesn't come with a timeline, jealousy is my Achilles heel, its ok to be alone but I'm not designed to be like that.

I'll keep you updated...hold me to my resolution!

Bleeding of Me

Apparently there are some people who pass out at the sight of a traumatic wound...some people pass out when they see someone else in pain/bleeding. I just pass out when I see myself bleeding. It has to be a particularly bad wound, or a fairly insignificant one with a lot of stress involved...its embarrassing but not anything can be done about it, according to the doctor.

My dad is right ~ I probably shouldn't use knives or anything sharp. I'm in a profession that demands it though, and I have gotten a lot better at being safe, concentrating and making sure that I know what I'm doing.

I can't wait for Christmas. It will be my first in "the fatherland" and I'm realizing how many people really care about me ~ at work, in my extended family and those I've just known a short time. There's a lot to be done before we leave next Thursday but the time will go quickly and I'm going to have fun.

Tonight is the apartment complex Christmas party and Monday all the dept heads are going out to lunch somewhere semi-swank. We get the rest of that day off. I just have to make sure that the food order is mostly done tomorrow so I can fully enjoy it.

Already, in my mind at least, planning trips...to Dallas to see my bro's new place, back to Kansas for my cousin's wedding...this won't be until next year, but still. For once, things are changing and its not traumatic for me!

Baby fever. Never truly understood it until recently.

Just Tired

I don't know why I can't do what I intend to do. I intend in trying to before I post again. Right after I posted this I thought, this is stupid, I'm being silly. But then I let it sit for a few minutes before writing anything else...just gathering things together, I guess. I thought about what 'rini and i talked about before...she's so awesome, I love her, two doctors, WOW!

I realize I'm fortunate for everything I have and will have in this life...just because of who I know, have known and will know...I just want to do my best and it stresses me out. I should be thinking about people at the end of their life; making everything the best I can for those I'm resposible for...its a lot of weight to bear as I walk out of the building everyday.

I realize I spent tooo much time thinking about semesters eand too little time thinking about people. We're going to a new church on Sunday and I'm going to refocus; spend most of my time concentrating on where I want to be.

When I think about living in Indiana, going to New Harmony, having kids, doing the best I can with what I have...I don't miss it. It makes me wistful, but also realistic...that wouldn't last long, for sure, my life would be short and sore, sad and I would report it as good.

I love you Grammy. I realize now how hard life is without someone you love so much. I just keep moving on...someday I will have a marriage like yours.

More Things, Maybe up to 20

1. I heard an En Vogue song today and I remembered how much I loved that group of ladies.
2. Whenever I think of something I haven't come across lately (like En Vogue for example), I wonder what they are doing now and if the aftermath of fame treated them alright.
3. It costs a lot more to live in Denver than in Indiana. How can it be less $$ to pay a mortgage but much more worth it to rent?
4. I think I've really gotten as stressed as I can possibly be for the holidays already and Thanksgiving isn't for another 2 weeks. I'm just going to chill and be relaxed...I think E (and the rats) like me better this way.
5. That movie with Michael Keaton--Multiplicity...or something like that, where the clones get dumber the more copied they are, reminds me of people at work. I think some of these people are clones of clones.
6. Sometime I'm going to ask someone what it was like being a man and how they like their new life as a woman.
7. I worry sometimes that I could lose the ability to keep what I say in my head from coming out of my mouth, resulting in something like #6 being said.
8. I think sometimes I say I'm bad with names because unless I really want to remember, I don't. Its just not something that sticks in my head without making a conscious effort.
9. I with there was an indoor amusement park close by. I don't even know if those exist in the United States unless you count Camp Snoopy at the Mall of America. I don't. I could really go for a nice ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl or Octopus right now.
10. Maybe the Office will be on TV forever. I know that forever is a long time, but it could be the first neverending show. I would settle for it being on as long as Cheers.
11. I can't get to 20 today. I need to do paperwork.

Understanding

I believe that everything happens for a reason...maybe not for anything significant (at least that we can figure out) but still, a reason. I think I work in a nursing home because of my confusion related to death. This will sound strange, but until I started working in long-term care, I was never able to figure out death. I understand that a body only lasts for so long, that the mind wears out, but I'd never been around someone going through that. It just seemed to me that death was like going away...I've only seen one dead person, ever, and at funerals prefer to think that they were just away for an extended period of time.

When someone dies, you have to make peace with what you thought of them and who they were to you. This is difficult when you have very little experience creating closure with those who are alive when they leave. I have found that it is easier to do this on a smaller scale, with people you hardly knew, and transitioning eventually to those who mean the world to you.

It still doesn't seem like Grandad is gone. And because of the bizarre way I relate to the difficult and uncomfortable, I honestly wouldn't be shocked if I saw him at Thanksgiving...I'd just ask him where he went and how the weather was. I know this isn't going to happen, but it is still my way of viewing death.

Lucky #13, (random things about me)

1. I think that getting older is more about attitude and adjusting than anything else.
2. A nice comfy t-shirt and jeans represents my personality.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. It also raises your blood pressure and will end up hurting you, not them.
4. Regrets are a waste of time unless you learn from them and are able to not make the same mistake again.
5. You know the saying, you have to love yourself before you can expect anyone else to? Maybe the illusion of self-love can be good enough.
6. I'm picky about friendship...its dangerous to be close to people only out for themselves.
7. I've never thought of myself as a risk-taker but according to Dad I am and compared to some of my family I'm freakin' Evil Knievel.
8. Is it wrong to do things just because the retelling of it will make a great story?
9. A lot of life is boring. Some of life is dramatic. You can change the balance but make sure you're able to deal with what you get.
10. I wish I had a Delorean that was able to time travel. I'd run into my future or past self and probably have no idea it was me..."dude that girl looks just like me and has the same clothes..."

11. Its really hard to know what to compromise on and what to let go...I have to say, is this really important to me?
12. So communication is hard for me, especially when you don't know how it will affect the other person, (who you care about or wouldn't be making this effort in the first place), so sometimes I have to take approx. 30 seconds of silence and figure out what to say.
13. #12 makes me feel slightly mentally-handicapped

We're Goin' Home Loki

"We've paid our debt. Don't you think it's time... Don't you think it's time we went home? And to do that... I... I think we may have to dispatch our-our would be dispatchers."

I freakin' love Dogma.

My other favorite quote:
"Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what ought to be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus."

Clerks and Chasing Amy rock the house, but Dogma has Matt Damon in it. As a fallen angel. I've always wanted to play hockey on a roof though. Chasing Amy has Joey Lauren Adams.
We'll call it a 3-way tie.

The day after tomorrow, partypartyparty. No specific plans other than seeing the family, drinking Octoberfest and lots and lots of food.

One Day at a Time

My head's been messing with me for awhile now...theres quite a bit of repetition at my work so the days sometimes get mixed up. Being in charge of people and dealing with their problems and the stress of running a kitchen...I guess I see life as a series of starts and stops, beginnings and endings, and I'm in a very fluid place. Something to look forward to ~ going to Kansas, everyone meeting E, seeing M. and my other friends again. I think, then what, what do I do to always be interested in life, to plan and grow as a person?

Spanish lessons - start Oct. 12th
Leadership class (for work) - Nov. 2

I'm really looking forward to this Friday though, Cymbalta hopefully and then Oktoberfest!

Robbery courtesy of Wal-Mart

You probably don't know how into Georgia O'Keeffe and her artwork I am...but its true. I was moved to tears by her museum and can't wait to go again. So I'm opinionated about this news article involving the artwork above.
Basically, the "Radiator Building — Night, New York" was given to Fisk University (an historically black school in Nashville) by Georgia O'Keeffe's husband's estate as a gift. Part of the terms of the gift were, as I understand it, that the artwork be shown at all times. The O'Keeffe Museum sued the The University for violating this term after Fisk reneged on their agreement to sell the painting, as well as rest of the 4-piece collection, for $7.5 million.

Why? They got a better deal, courtesy of Wal-Mart. http://www.santafenewmexican.com/news/68289.html

The End of the Beginning

So I'm starting the last week of my "experiential learning" at St. Paul Health Center. I've had an amazing time ~ learned so much more about a different aspect of food service; one that fits me really well. I'm able to clinically chart on medical records about food habits and diet-related ailments, relate to the elderly/disabled/handicapped (I was pretty good at faking it before) and be assertive (I wasn't very good at faking that before).

And now I'm preparing for the possibility of being a food service director at a long-term health facility. A leader, someone in charge. I'd never considered this kind of role for myself before.
I'm really open to every kind of challenge and difficulty...I don't welcome it, by any stretch, but am confident knowing that I could do my best and probably succeed.

On the downside, I'm avoiding two very important people in my life who I need to talk to and be open with. Its not going to be comfortable and I'm just so tired of crying. But I'll feel better after I do. Just have to take a deep breath and make the call.

Not Playing Nice

I'm a big fan of standup comedy. Especially creative ones who draw on life experiences rather than stereotypes. With some exceptions, of course. I'd heard of Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, etc. but the first I remember hearing was the infamous Martin Lawrence Saturday Night Live opening monologue. You know, the one so raunchy and gross that got him banned forever from the show.
I saw that with my Dad. It was like a trainwreck. We sat, transfixed by our embarrassment and disbelief.
Wait, before that was Jeff Foxworthy. I think. The timelines get kind of blurry. You know, blah blah blah "You might be a redneck."
I'm using that format to describe a pet peeve of mine.

When a girl, two girls, or even 3 are out having a good time, this is not an invitation for guys to come up, sit down and strike up a conversation. I'm not saying you can't say hello, offer a flattering remark or two, but chances are, you are not welcome to sit down.

Even more annoying is the often-presumed fact that the girl or girls in question would like your phone number. How do you know that she is, first of all, single and second of all, heterosexual and third of all, even interested?

I know the following isn't nice. But it is true, and makes me giggle a little.

If you have teeth that would make someone from Great Britain cringe..."she's probably not interested."
If you talk repeatedly about things in your life you would like to change, your clothes, ex-girlfriend, or your mother..."she's probably not interested."
If you lie about your age (especially if she finds out by asking your 'wingman', ''she's probably not interested."
If you try to act like you know about her career and have no freaking clue what you're talking about...yeah. Definitely not interested.

I could go on about racial slurs, ignorance in general, etc. but you get the idea. Some girls are polite enough to take your number and quietly throw it away. I really think that the best thing to do is to cut them off before it gets to that point. For example, when they sit down, do not accept a drink, say you'd prefer to be by yourself/with friends and if all else fails, move or leave as quickly as possible.

I undestand that most girls know these suggestion and have put them into practice many times. I'm assuming that there are those out there who are as naive as I am, or was and were under the impression that just ignoring the guy in question would be enough.

Age Ain't But a Number

So yesterday I turned 26. I didn't fightor dwell on it as much as I pretended to. I've already started to make some really big changes ~ personal and professional, private and public.

Life at Aero Flats is really close to perfection.

The more outgoing and personable that I'm becoming, the more I just want those closest to me to know what I'm really like.

People judge. I try not to do this. There's really no way to ever know the full story and its usually better that you don't.

Shaving legs is one of the services CNAs at the Health Center don't provide. I think that if I was ever placed in one of these homes I would explore as much as possible. There is a Wii, and free internet access and someone to do your hair and pretty much whatever you want to eat, whenever. I think just being here makes a lot of the residents really sad and/or angry.

Thoreau said, "To regret deeply is to live afresh." I agree with this but only if you are able to get over the guilt that often comes with regret. One of the things I regret is often taking the easy path, only to deal with something much more difficult down the road. Sometimes due to laziness, sometimes because of a lack of forethought and a lot of impulsiveness.

Living the right way at the right time, completely.

Experiential Learning

Monday was paperwork and a tour of the St. Paul Health Center kitchen. The last 3 days have been work from 5 am to 11 am or so, doing bakery and a.m. cook rotations. Tomorrow is my last day with Adriana, cooking for breakfast and lunch.
Honestly, its really difficult. Not the work, getting out of bed at 4:15 in the morning. My biorhythm just doesn't work like that. Next week I have 2 days each of starting at 6 am and 7 am which make me even more thankful for living close by.

I've really enjoyed living with Meredith and my little room in the basement. It will be good to move to a place with amenities including more privacy, a pool, a killer exercise room...and still a great location.

Rancho Liberio is my favorite new culinary find ~ a Hispanic supermarket with a great selection of produce, dried peppers, tortillas, 'underutilized' cuts of meat, amazing salsa, etc. Its very inexpensive and I'm not sure why. Maybe they bypass distributors. Definitely going to go there again and again.

My life as next-to-zero drama for the first time in years. Its strange but I am getting used to it.

Back to Basics

As I lay here, late on a Monday night in my mother's house, I can't believe how fast time has gone and where I am. I have achieved and lost much in a very short time. I'm happy to be in Denver but am enjoying this week in Lawrence. Driving around town was total sensory overload ~ I got so many snapshots of my life here all at once. It was like pressing fast-forward on a kaleidescope.

I've already been asked, and know my Grammy will ask as well, what I'm doing after I'm done with my co-op in August.
I really don't know but am just so glad I have June and July figured out, you know?

Tonight was great. I felt really weird and emotional but at home with Kristen and Jo. Now that school is over, I'm going to make staying in contact with friends and family more of a priority. Especially with you, M. Evansville was so much better after we re-met!

So tomorrow is going to be about sleeping, working out, reading, enjoying. I got the Green Van which also brought me back, oh about 10 years. Can't knock the hustle.

I know its probably out of the realm of possibility but Bell's would be the perfect way to end this trip and begin the loooong drive way back home. For some reason, I remembered how great Larry and Wendy's Wedding Ale was...maybe they have some bottled in the cellar.

I'm equally excited and scared about the future, but find solace in the fact that I won't ever be alone. Being lonely isn't necessarily a bad thing ~ sometimes it helps you reconnect with yourself; listen to what you've been trying to ignore, deal with the previously untouchable.

Long Time Coming

A lot has changed since I posted last. I moved to Denver, have a roommate named Meredith and a part-time dog named Caleb. He's not mine, but seems to be ok with me. Of all the Boxers I've known, he's the sweetest and least neurotic. I've survived Classical French Cuisine, Advanced Dining Room (and all the accompanying wine tasting at 8 am) and am loving International Cuisine. The biggest events coming up are graduation and co-op (internship).

I'm realizing that life can be hard or easy, depending on the choices you make. My parents tried really hard to make everything great and hide the consequences that came from say, not driving the best, not being with the right people and sneaking ancient liquor. I don't want to name names, (they tried valiantly, at times) but the substitutes I found for my parents were mediocre, at best. I'm really glad to now be "doing life" on my own. Not entirely, of course, but it feels good to know that my choices are my own and the results are equally mine. I chose to be here ~ in Denver, on Leyden Street, in culinary school.

Not everyone will agree with the choices I've made and will continue to make and I realize that. I hope there will be support though ~ I need that more than ever.

A new song

One of my best friends is going to a wedding on Saturday ~ her ex-boyfriend (they dated for 5 years) and his fiancee are getting married. Even though I never really liked...let's call him Shane...I think its cool that she's going to be there. Just to know that its real, like she says. I wish I could be there to go with her, or at least go out and talk after she's been so brave.

So tomorrow is the end of the Garde Manger segment. I've heard people talk about how they love being so creative and learning so much. I mostly agree ~ the food is gorgeous but no one (except for those like me, who automatically see a pretty terrine and think, "ooooh I bet that tastes good") really eats it. The labor part of it is really getting me ready for this summer, when I'll be on my feet for 8 hours.

What's coming up....
*Tomorrow (Thurs) is the first day of the NCAA Basketball Tournament, AKA the year KU surprises everyone by me, my Dad and other diehard Jayhawk fans....
*Friday I'm checking out apartments/rooms close to school. I'm excited but very very nervous.
*Saturday = St. Patrick's Day and hopefully more craziness than I've been part of in a long time.
*Monday is last day of GM and time to take a breath before French Classical cuisine

WotD

Word of the Day! Depuration - the removal of impurities from the body, such as xenobiotics. Xenobiotic is a fancy word for a chemical that isn't supposed to be found; its not normally produced.
Ex. My liver is utilizing depuration in relation to the antibiotics I'm taking for pneumonia.
Don't you feel smarter now?

Depuration is also a beer produced by Russian River Brewing. It is "a Blonde Ale aged in French oak Chardonnay barrels with white wine grapes for one year with three strains of Brettanomyces, Lactobacillus, & Pediococcus (yeast)."
I'd love to try it!

V-Day + Other Schtuf

Going to the KU/CU game rocked. It was awesome to see just as many, and at times a lot more, Kansas fans than Colorado. Highlights...
the 3 KU kids on the front row, right in front of the CU student section...the fact that they sell beer at the arena....the stupid signs trying to make fun of Kansas..

I think that Kaun (as in the KU center, Sasha) in Russian means either "hands like rocks" or "surprisingly athletic" depending on your voice inflection.

These next few days are going to be difficult. I feel really gross ~ half the time I'm hacking up a lung ~ and its just hard to concentrate anyway. Spring fever, spring fever!
There's a guy in my meatcutting class who is trying to get through it for the 3rd time. Someone commented, "I think I'd just give up." Yeah. Once is hard enough.

Saturday is Frasca night...I might take pics of all the lovely charcuterie and do a little write-up. There are seats open for walk-ins...the only reservation was available at 10:30. I'm just so psyched to go! Having something to look forward to is so important, you know? Even if its just a kick-ass dinner and a night on the town.

The Chinese New Year cake (Nian Gao) turned out really well. Red bean paste definitely tastes better than it sounds.

Spring Break Plans

They aren't much, but I'll be in L-town late Thursday the 22nd - late afternoon Sunday the 25th. Definitely looking forward to it.
On my to-do list:

1. Hang out with Wenjun and Jo
2. Go to Free State at least once
3. See KU beat Iowa State...in person
4. Have lunch or dinner with Mom at the former Westside Deli
5. Try to get Dad to play beer pong again.
6. Make dinner with Peggy
7. Sleep a lot.

Meatcutting isn't one of my strengths. Its weird ~ I have this expectation that I'll be good at anything involving hand-eye coordination. And it just doesn't happen. Chef's nice though. And we're eating International Cuisine at our leisure. I'll eat whatever Timmy (he's at Rioja...my Restaurant Week destination) makes. 1 day down, 8 to go...

I Am Like Buddy Holly

So i'm a nerd, but I'm cool. I was told this a few days ago, and after I got used to it, kinda agree.
In the last 2 days, I've gone to an asian market. And babysat 3 kids under the age of 5, simultaneously. I was not at the market with the kids though. The experience would've been very surreal and pretty awful, I think.
I got some amazing "gourmet" ramen from the market, and was able to spend some time with Elaine from class. Its so much better than anything Evansville had, in terms of ingredients...I think I could make any recipe from Asia if I knew how to obtain it...I know it would be at the market, the problem would be knowing how to identify the item and know how to ask for it.

Next week there's a Chinese New Year party at Noi's...I'm making an authentic cake. I'm glad I knew what ingredients to get, because the English translations = not the same.
Here are pics of the kids I babysat..two of them anyway. Maximilian and Eva...

Its That Time Again

The Super Bowl, followed by Valentine's Day. I hope the Colts win. They deserve it. I don't hate Da Bears though. You can't, what with the Superfans and all.
I couldn't find any of the other SNL segments but this one is pretty funny.

I don't usually think about V-Day until a few days before, but I've been shopping more than usual and have kinda gotten in the spirit. As much as you really can with a made-up holiday. I'll be spending the 14th at school and at the KU game in Boulder. I've never been to a basketball game at another Big 12 school before. The seats are decent and there will be a ton of Jayhawk fans.

I'm really looking forward to the end of the month. Spring Break, Restaurant Week...its going to be an amazing time.

This Sunday, though...if you have any amazing snack recipes, send them to me. I'm going to at least make or get wings. Probably more delish goodies too.

Creme Brulee and Caroline

Caroline Elizabeth Barron was born on Tuesday....a couple weeks early. Isn't she gorgeous?? I can't wait to meet her!


Today was the last day of Food Service Production and when Labato found out I had a culinary torch, we were automatically making creme brulee. We flavored it with just a touch of lemon & cinnamon and a ton of vanilla. He's really into making garnishes and making things look pretty in general (we had a discussion about best brands of cosmetics too, but that's a different story) so when i was done with getting the custard *just right* he was all about the teardrop apple cutouts and the caramelized sugar. Using the torch was fun. I know he took a photo or 2 and I'll be sure to post it.
Tomorrow is Store Room and then Meatcutting and then Spring break..the last day of class is Feb 22nd. So its more like Late Winter Break. I don't really have a lot of plans other than getting my summer externship lined up and going skiing with Maelynn, who HAS to come out here.

Been Awhile

Sorry I've not posted since last year...sometimes words just fail me, you know? I'm pretty sure that I've broken every resolution that I wrote here so far (AND the ones I didn't write down, like not going to Starbucks). But that's ok.

School...Nutrition and Culinary Analysis rocked, and I'm in Foodservice Production now. Basically, the former dealt with poaching and steaming and the latter with baking, pan-frying and saute. Each chef is completely different from the next and I love learning what makes each one unique.

So tonight I was going to take Maxmillian and Jon to see their first movie (their mom, Elisa is the sis of my best pal, Maelynn). I love those little guys! Charlotte's Web wasn't playing so I got them way overpriced ice cream at the theater and got to see them be mesmerized by the lights, constant conflicting noise and all the people. I love kids.

Resolution?

So I've been asked, mainly by Wenjun what my New Year's resolution is. I tried writing down a list of them one year, but have decided that having just one or two is the way to go.

1) Not be a doormat for anyone, anytime. This means lying to make people feel better, letting people say things they shouldn't just because "that's the way they are," etc.

2) Not relying on anyone else to be happy. I've not totally thought this one out yet.

So Excited

Today is my sister's 21st birthday! I'm having so much fun hanging out with 'rini and Er. Tomorrow is beer pong on Peggy's dining room table (thanks!) and Little Miss Sunshine and BEER. Tonight is less beer and a lot of Ricky Bobby, spaghetti and presents.
I used to have a hard time sleeping through the night before Christmas. I kinda wish I could experience that feeling again ~ waking up and having the greatest surprises of your life up to that point.
Everything is just so amazing and wonderful right now...I miss school though.

Snowed In

I'm not sure how many inches of snow we have right now. Not as many as the 'ville got way back in '03...the timing is almost the same though. If the situation was different (in terms of travel), I'd be really upset. The plan is still to be with Sir and Connie by late afternoon Friday. I can't wait to hang out with Maelynn and Zac!

As I was telling 'rini, I love warmth and the sun, in particular, for just this reason. Clouds produce snow and hardship while blue skies...don't. Sure, there's something called "skin cancer" but that never caused my friend Matt to miss Christmas with his family.

She don't like, she don't like...Cocaine

I'm not a big fan of Year-in-Summary articles...I like fresh, new, interesting tidbits. But the chow.com The Year in Food review was good. I had read/heard about most of what was talked about, except for this interesting beverage:

Just seeing it at the grocery, you would never think it was different from any other energy drink. Although if I saw one called Indiana Meth I would probably take notice.
Apparently, the "high" hits within five minutes and the caffeine rush comes 15 min., later. Its also 350% stronger than Red Bull and has bizarre tongue-numbing effects. Interesting. If I need to drive anywhere, this is what I'm going to take with me. As long as what they promise (that you don't crash) is true. I always get so tired driving...

Three-Month-Crazy Rule

I have a friend who swears that girls he's dated tend to get crazy three months into a relationship with him. I'm not exactly sure what that says about him, but I can understand when it comes to me and school. I thought about blaming it on being burned out, but that doesn't make sense...I'm just definitely feeling kinda crazed right now.

All I can say is, 6 more days of school until break. Then it's onto the 'ville for a few days and then to Lawrence. I can't wait.
My brother graduates on Saturday. I wish I could be in the ATL, but he needs to know that I'm with him in spirit. He's incredibly brilliant and I'm so proud of him. Congrats Er! Give me your Xmas list soon, ok??!

Buying Toys for Three Year Olds

One of my best friend's nephews turned 3 recently and I had the hardest time figuring out what to get him. Jon's a rough-and-tumble little guy, one of those kids who runs around crashing into everything. I first got a little learning computer, which would've been great had it been for his big brother. So I settled on a "big kids" tool kit. I told the Mom that it had a box cutter and scissors, before I got it and everything seemed to be cool.

It was Jon's favorite gift. He'll learn a ton, and will grow into it.
I probably should've gotten something else. We'll see though. Hopefully his parents have a good hiding place.

Jason is dying. Dealing with the loss of rats never gets any easier. I'll cry a little and will remember how awesome he was. Just like his Dad.

Days Go By

Today was the first of Intro to Beverage. That's what I'm calling it, anyway. We learned about coffee, coffee service and being jittery.

Half of the GYD (Garnish Your Degree, AKA Kids with Useless Degrees) people I was with last semester have the Cool Chef fo r Food Service Production. There's a new GYD who knows The Big Lebowski by heart and I've decided that every day I'm going to torment him by thinking up random scenes and having him do the lines and voices. Today he was kind of embarrassed but I think he'll get used to it. =)

Tonight at the gym I saw approx. 15 min of Top Chef without the sound. Its the episode that Anthony Bourdain guest-appears on. I wish I could've heard what he had to say. I hope that the guy with the hair like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective loses and I don't know why. His 'do was a bit too perfect and sculpted, like maybe he'd spent more time on that than thinking up an impressive menu.



Tonight and tomorrow its supposed to snow and I'm not sure about driving...i hope it does this less, rather than more, at least Mon-Thurs.

Grilling With Beer

My friend and fellow beer connoisseur, Lucy Saunders just published her latest book -


She gave me some to sell as a fundraiser for my summer culinary externship. I'm not charging any shipping:

I'm hoping to be at either Beer Bistro in Toronto ~


or Zingerman's in Ann Arbor, MI.




If I wasn't selling them, I'd love to get one for Christmas. =) I do accept Paypal and ship extra quickly!

Basketball Revival

I'm not one of those people who uses sports metaphors to describe the beautiful, sublime or bizarre.
Hmmm. Not sure where I was going with that. Tonight's game was fun. Maybe next time when I think *something* is impossible, I'll remember how I was brought up to be an optimist. And not even Mr. Pink will convince me to think otherwise.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/recap?gameId=263290057

Happy Thanksgiving

Dinner went well, all the food was pretty tasty but I didn't crave any because of the time I put in. We were supposed to eat at 1 and were sitting down before 2. Pictures were taken and they should be funny.

Tonight is dinner at Dad and Peggy's. I can't imagine eating anything else....

You Ain't Know

I just ate popcorn in bed and it is now everywhere. i'm kind of too lazy to get up and find it all.

(not so) Big Doings

So I'm here in Lawrence and it's been a blast so far. Got in Thursday night and went out in Kansas City last night with Jo and Wenjun. I can't wait to see the pics from the Med School party.

Met up with Jo and Kris at Free State today for some tasty lunch and a beer. Right now I'm watching the KU/K-State game and wish I was there. KU definitely brought their game and held on to win. I was so sure they'd get smashed.

It's strange being back here. Always a mix of nostalgia and sadness that I can't explain. There's a ton of happiness, too but I understand that part of it.

Even though I haven't really done anything today, I feel like I've accomplished something because I got the Thanksgiving menu together. I'm not sure if 100% of this is going to get made,but I hope so, because it would rock my socks.

Em's First Thanksgiving Feast, in which she makes (almost) everything herself:

Roast Turkey w/Pomegranate Molasses Glaze, Lotsa Gravy
Mashed Potatoes w/Carrots, Leeks and Roasted Garlic
Sweet Potato Orange Cups
Cornbread Dressing (with Apples and maybe Sausage)
Butternut Squash & Squash Gratin
Cranberry Walnut Conserve
~maybe something pickled, maybe a salad too
Yeast Rolls of some sort
my Mom's Pecan Pie
Caramel Pumpkin Pie

What do you think?

To Summarize...

I called Nate's mom (Wenjun, you know who I'm talking about) to find out whether he got shipped out with the military. I'm gonna be upset if she doesn't call or email me. I wonder if he feels like his so-called debt to society has been paid...I hope he doesn't feel like still he owes anyone anything.

Dad got a new dog, Zoe or Z-Dog. Also a new rat, Violet. I'll be sure to post pics, mostly for my own benefit after I get back from Thanksgiving.

Thursday I leave for Kansas. Mr. Pink will arrive later.
Can't wait to see everyone and attempt my first Dinner (THE dinner). Everyone better cut me some slack. I will post some pictures because that's what culinary students do.

Hmm, what else. Plans for Christmas are still up in the air, but I will be going to the 'ville. And back when Baby Barron makes her appearance.

I feel like I should start getting Christmas presents. And its not even Thanksgiving yet. Great.

I'm on Facebook. And not on Myspace anymore.

Ok, I didn't vote. Time just got away from me and registering here. But I am aware of the issues and candidates. Which only makes a difference to me, I guess. Colorado is the first state I've lived in where my vote would've made an impact...my views are much more in line with the general population here.

I made some amazing chili today. Everyone scoffed when I was planning to add cocoa. A lot more flavor depth and color than yesterday's version.

So if you had your choice between dim sum, Syrian (the restaurant got rave reviews by a source a trust) or...something completely different, what would you choose? I'm already looking forward to the weekend's nice meal out.

This week is going so well ~ class is as laidback as it could ever be, thanks to the Chef. If I'm ever in a similar position (which I cannot imagine), I hope to be just like everyone's favorite JWU Chef.

No Longer an Owner....

the house FINALLY sold! woooo hoooo
Don't know any specifics...I mean, why would I? Its all good though. Not a bad first
experience.

Sadness - about a lot ot things

Yet, everything still remains.
My heart is broken
and I don't know what to do-
but I'll figure it out.
Slowly and surely
life will come together again.

I'm silent at strange times
with people I know and love
because suddenly, there's a void in my mind.
Words don't flow like they used to-
I don't know why.

I never wanted to be different like this,
I never intended any pain.
But I've hurt so many, trying to find myself
in misguided ways.

I don't want to lose myself.
Anymore.

Halloween!

I went out on Saturday night to Polly Esther's, a dance club in Denver. It was so sweet of Fran to invite me along with her crew. It was an awesome time, dancing the night away. Here's what I looked like:For some reason, you have to click on the white space to see me. Dunno why.
My grandma is the cutest...she wrote saying that for the 11th year in a row there haven't been any trick-or-treaters come by their house. But, she said she was prepared with free Wendy's Frosty coupons just in case.

My Sweetest Downfall

= not liking being alone.
A beautiful, independent and wise woman told me today, "alone is not equivalent to unhappiness and single is not synonymous with available."
Yes.
Thanks Jo.

Taking it one day at a time.

Back

Today has been really rough. My mind was elsewhere during production today and it really showed. I'm glad my practical exam isn't until tomorrow.
My roommate is a 47 year old Jewish accountant who holds a socialist ideology and only dates Mexican men (but not if they're from Durango.) She supports the Zapatistas and the leftist Mexican Presidential candidate, Andrés Manuel López Obrador. He's the guy who insisted on a recount and proclaimed that the results would be invalid unless he was named El Presidente. He also the guy who made it impossible for my sister to go to the Zocalo (city center) for Mexican Independence Day because of possible violence. I don't know specifics about his politics though.

I am wondering how the Zapatista coffee I purchased today will be. More soon.

Hiatus

I won't be posting for a little while...I need to deal with some sadness and pain. Feel free to contact me though.

Keeping on Truckin'

Monday and Tuesday are my last days of Essentials of Dining Room.
Its been an interesting experience. I don't know what else there is left to cover in Advanced Dining Room, which I'll have in the spring.

One of the most interesting (and unexpected) aspects of this class is all the French we are learning. We are serving food for the French Cuisine section and the entire menu is written in French.

Wednesday I start "New World Cuisine." It should be called "Grilling and Frying" but that wouldn't sound as good.

Stole this quiz from Maggie:

1) When was the last time you went to the bathroom outside?
when we went hiking last

2) When was the last time you saw one of your parents?
August, right before I moved out here. I'll see mi madre in less than 2 weeks, woo hoo

3) Which family member do you most resemble?
the postman. shhh

4) Do you wear cologne/perfume?
I mostly collect it rather than wear it because i have "hoarding tendencies"

5) Do you wear deodorant?
yes. Degree to be exact

6) Do you 'clean up nice'?
Dude. I always look nice, even if it is only in my mind.

7) When was the last time you tripped and fell?
i took a spectacular dive when i was running with Maelynn back in July. Sprawling and all.

8) Where was the last place you slept besides your home?
the Subaru while it was raining

9) What are you listening to right now?
rats chewing and cars traveling.

10) Have you ever started an uncontrollable fire?
yes and it burned burned burned. That ring of fire.

11) Ever run out of gas on the road?
no but I know someone who has done it twice

12) Would you rather cut the grass or rake the leaves?
Mags is right. No one says "cut the grass". I would rather MOW than rake. Because raking is pointless. The leaves will just fall again. And you can mow leaves!

13) Your name spelled backwards?
ylime. y lime. hehehe.

14) What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
a stupid stupid Blackberry update that did nothing to help me access the internet. You'd think the tech would've figured that out ahead of time.

15) Last time you swam in a pool?
Eeesh. Jeff's experience at the Y made me wary. I don't remember.

16) Have you ever been in a school play?
2nd grade. I was forced!

17) How many kids do you want?
having a big family would be neat. maybe 4. So there would be an even number for rides at the amusement parks. Its weird to ride with strangers when you're little.

18) Type of music you dislike most?
anything that involves random screams and shaking and asks the listener to "interpret the meaning themselves." Its like throwing something on the sidewalk and calling it art.

19) You registered to vote?
in indiana.

20) You have cable?
no, satellite but thinking about that and the bill makes me upset

21) Ever prank call anybody?
yes.

22) Best friends?
sure.

23) Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
sky diving. but someone would have to push me out

24) Do you have a garden?
used to have some herbs before the move

25) What's your favorite comic strip?
I like Foxtrot

26) Bath or Shower, morning or night?
shower. night. I used to like bathing but it involves too much doing nothing

27) Best movie you've seen in the past month?
Hmm. Maybe 3 Kings. I have seen bits and pieces of Anchorman though and love it even MORE

28) Favorite pizza topping?
spicy italian sausage

29) Chips or popcorn?
popcorn with lots of stuff on it

30) What color lipstick do you usually wear?
see question #4. But I do love me some gloss at times.

31) Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
No. I usually stick to whatever fits in a hookah

32) Orange Juice or apple?
orange. freshly squeezed

33) Favorite type of chocolate bar?
chocolate. Dark.

34) When was the last time you voted at the polls?
Fall. Not for My Man Mitch. You can bet on that.

35) Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
at Dad and Peggy's

36) Are you a good cook?
kinda. Chef Johnson would deg to biffer I bet though

37) Ever order anything from an infomercial?
no but if i'd had a credit card at age 12 I would've been in serious trouble. Especially one of those things that made 1000s of julienne fries.

38) Sprite or 7-up?
diet Sprite

39) Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Yeah but the worse the uniform the shorter the time I worked there.

40) Ever thrown up in public?
I take great pains to avoid that.

41) Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Hmmm. What if I already have one of those? Huh? Huh?

42) Do you believe in love at first sight?
sure, there was this half-Japanese guy in St. Louis and i was in 8th grade and I felt it. Electric.

43) Can ex's be friends?
sure but not when you get all bitter on them when they least expect it. I mean, of course they can.

44) Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Vincent, when he had a valve in his heart replaced with that of a pig. 2 years ago i think

45) Did you have a lot of hair as a baby?
yup and i looked native american. No one has ever said that but that was the first thought in my head when I saw the pics

46) What message is on your answering machine?
"hi, this is emily..." I have a telephone voice that is higher-pitched and kind of dumb.

47) What do you think about most?
right now, alcohol. That's just sad though and it shall pass.

48) Favorite form of travel?
I really enjoy swinging. In a swing.

49) Ever drink rotten milk?
I have had some enter my mouth but did not swallow. At school we call this the "sip and spit" method.

My Secret Garden

I really enjoy running and cooking. I'm really trying to do both daily. Exercising, too, but there is something about being outside or circling around a track that really clears the mind.
My sis brought up that we have a 3rd cousin, once removed in Puebla, Mexico where she's spending the semester. He also runs a culinary institute.
I want to say how crazy it is that he runs a cooking school and that I'm actually going to one, but I bet we have a 3rd cousin who has rats and/or has run a half-marathon as well.
I'm glad she'll be able to spend Thanksgiving with "family," as it means a lot to my people.
Michael Bluth: What have we always said is the most important thing?
George Michael: Breakfast?
Michael: Family.
George Michael: Oh right, family. I thought you meant out of the things you eat.

I've dropped my phone for the last time. Well Maybe not the last, last time. But it doesn't work now. I'll get my new one on Tuesday. That is why I'm not answering when you call.

I See Paris, I See France

Today was the end of Introduction to Dining Room - Week 1. It was also Day 3, and I'm finally starting to see some progress in my waitressing technique.
I'm not the most coordinated gal in the world, so balancing 3 plates in one hand/arm actually took a day or so to master.

The most interesting part about this term is our chef. I thought he was Basque at first, judging by his fiery personality and statement that "it is ok to love violence."
No, he's just French.

Here's Chef's take on foie gras - "If you have eyes on the side of your head, I'm bound to kill you and eat you."

My last day at the liquor store will be this Saturday. I was starting to get burned out and frustrated after the first week and that was a bad sign.

Chef says that we need to have a "secret garden," or other hobby/interest that keeps us sane. He noted that drinking and watching TV, although distracting, would not be what he'd recommend.

The First Week

Although it was just 4 days long, the Stocks, Soups, Sauces block will be half over on Monday. I forgot my knife kit on the first day, which wouldn't have been a big deal, except that my apron and two sidetowels (crucial parts of the uniform) were in it. I was directed to the storeroom where I plead my case. I can look fairly pitiful if I feel that way, so I got spares for the day.

I don't want to be too critical, but I think the chef we have is kind of arrogant, and not just talking about his skills as a chef. Not admitting when you are wrong really irritates me, especially when it involves blaming the rest of the class.

I've never had any direct experience with the military, but "culinary boot camp" pretty much sums up how we relate to our superiors. Every sentence or phrase ends in "Chef" and we say, "Thank you Chef" when we are corrected. Everything has to be ironed and pristine. You go through a lineup at the beginning of each course block (more if the chef deems it necessary).
We are being taught proper dining room procedure...for example, do you know that the proper way to eat a piece of bread is to tear it into smaller pieces and butter them as you go?

Everyone, including myself, buys into the system. We are there to learn how to cook, not to be babied or treated gently.
In a moment of weakness, I forgot where I was (I can think of no other justification) and licked butternut squash soup off a serving spoon. I was going to enjoy it and then take it to the "dish pit". Unfortunately, Chef saw me and said "I don't ever want to see you do that again!" Basically, it is a bad habit that I need to ensure never happens again.

Getting up at 5:15 am is something that will take longer to get used to than I had thought. My body doesn't do well with getting up when it is still dark, regardless of what culinary delights and learning it will receive that day...
Speaking of delights, we got truffles in exchange for some veggie soup, compliments of a chocolate class and their vegetarian chef. It is a treat to have a gourmet lunch (of varying quality) and fresh bread every day.

Wise Words (Or Those I Agree With) from....Pamela Anderson ??!

I'm not going to explain how each of these pithy statements has impacted my life, but each rings true. Just ask, if you're curious.

Love never goes away; it just changes form. (For me, this isn't just true regarding romantic love. Love changes as people change and go in and out of your life.)

The best decisions you ever make are usually the ones you make even when everyone else says not to do it.

In order for a man to feel whole, he needs someone to look up to and someone to look up to him. (The someone who is looked up to doesn't necessarily need to be alive. You can tell if a man is searching for both ends of the equation.)

You know when a prayer is answered. (This is kind of a 'duh' statement, but I need to realize how many of my prayers are answered, continually.)

A pic of where I work

Just so you can get a visual...the website is meridianwine.org
I have no idea where the frog logo came from. However, I am proud to say that I turned down the 2 black babydoll tees with aforementioned logo that were offered to me. I'd rather just wear one uniform per day thankuverymuch!

What to Wear

Today I got my JWU ID card and was sized for my uniform. As someone who avoids ironing and is somewhat messy, I foresee that looking perfect every single day will be harder for me than some
Here's what I will be wearing (the female is modeling the "dining room" uni and the male is wearing the chef's): Click on the bar below

Guys can't have beards or long sideburns and no makeup or long fingernails.
I just have to plan ahead...is all. I'm mostly worried about making it to school on time. No idea what the traffic will be like at 6:15 am...and my chronic tardiness just can't happen!

New Things

I'm really interested in playing coed hockey in the winter. I'm gathering all the gear and will save up my Meridian earnings to pay the league fee. This won't be until January because I need to practice skating and actually learn how first.

I've got my Halloween costume all figured out. I want it to be a surprise but it will involve my vampire fangs because they make me feel sexy. Basically, I could wear a garbage bag along with the fangs and feel like the hottest thing on earth. Don't know why. There will be a whip too...

Maggie is going to be a ninja and says she has a banana suit for Jeff to wear. He loves 'nanas and wouldn't we be the nonsequitur crew?

Tomorrow we're going to Ft. Collins with Kevin to have some chili beer and do other fun things. Wednesday is the Pawnee Grassland and spending the night before I have to be back at 4 to work at Meridian on Thursday. Orientation begins on Friday...

Do You Like Colorado?

People ask me this all the time. And they often say, "Wow, I really love it out there."
I'm wondering, is there anyone who doesn't like Colorado? And if you do, is it for any reason other than something flexible, like the cost of living or being around lots of hippies.

Is there anyone who really doesn't like the mountains? Is the dry weather something that annoys you? If so, please let me know. I won't judge, but I might ask questions. I'm interested. Talk to me.

New Life, New Job

Thursday I start at Meridian Wine & Spirits, just up the road here in Lafayette. My mom isn't happy about this because liquor stores get robbed at a higher frequency than say, Kitchen Affairs-type places.
Its a "keep it classy-San Diego" type of place, as Will Ferrell would say. Upscale in a nice neighborhood.
I really think my chances are higher of dying in a car accident, given the current statistics and my proclivity for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Random things are higher priced here, like soy sauce and sesame oil. Gas is higher too, which I understand.

My sis is in Mexico for this semester. She knows very little Spanish and is doing it immersion-style. I think I'd tend to start having conversations in my head and not notice when people were trying to talk to me. Because then I'd have to brush off the daydream cobwebs and make them say one-word-at-a-time.

Mags is going back to Fargo to get her tonsils out. I got to see their infected state last night and it was very cool, in a freakish way. Kinda reminds me of when I had mono and got all inflamed. I think I was asleep for most of the first half of senior year.

If you have any questions about school, just ask. I'll be able to give you a detailed outline of how to make the perfect consomme in less than two weeks. Exciting, I know.
And looking over my Orientation schedule...I don't think the beginnings of my career at KU included half of this stuff. It was sink or swim, children!
Hopefully I won't realize things that I should've known when I was 18.

My attitude is 100% different this time around. I'm so much more focused and ready to kick serious rear. And I don't care what anyone thinks, no sirree.

Ramblings

1. I have been to more Starbucks and Target stores in the last three weeks than in the previous 3 years combined. I don't feel guilty but am eager to visit more places like the specialty Indian food store I went to today.

2. It may sound obvious but a big city means more driving, unless you are extremely familiar with the area and plan your life to avoid it. I'm not a betting gal, but I think this will be the reason why we do not make the Denver area our permanent home.

3. Boulder's Pearl St. makes me long for Lawrence's Massachusetts St. I hope that Mass Street never changes.

4. I am learning to value experiences and interactions with people more than ever before. Being solitary just isn't as fun as it used to be.

5. The Red Sox' Josh Beckett needs to lose the beard and keep a soul patch. Why do beards not work on every guy?
I would like a "soul patch" of my own, but only if it doesn't have anything to do with body hair. Maybe on my backpack.

6. If anyone has tips on how to become a morning person, please let me know. I am hoping school starting at 7 am doesn't mean I will have to get up at 5 to be fully alert and avoid cutting myself.

7. Being an aunt is going to rock. I just know it.

Here in Colorado

We moved in on Tuesday...actually we got here on Monday, the truck arrived a day later. Everything went fairly smoothly. All the essentials are taken care of and boxes stored in the large (!) basement until next time. I had forgotten all the little details that are automatically taken care of when the house is owned. I don't know how the previous occupants could've dealt with the back door not locking, a bedroom door automatically locking (from the inside!) and a refrigerator that I'd rather not get into. Management is quality though, and maintenance took care of everything ASAP.

All complaints aside, the townhome seems a lot bigger than the house on Colony Road. We have a back door and patio for the first time. All the options for entertainment are quite overwhelming.

In Flux

We're spending the weekend in Lawrence with my parents. Cats and rats made the trip as well. From here we're off to
Lafayette, Colorado, our home for the next year. I hope it will feel like home quickly, because the feeling of not being comfortable is so familiar. Yesterday was 6 hours of driving, the day before was cleaning up the house/packing and Wednesday was packing the truck. Sir did an amazing job of moving boxes.

I'm so exhausted...I've not had this much trouble sleeping since I was thirteen. All these thoughts are racing, moving so quickly, its hard to organize and make much sense of them. I've been so excited about moving for such a long time. All I'm left with is the residual effects.

No complaints here. Just striving for understanding. And sweet, sweet sleep.
Tomorrow is breakfast with Peggy and a visit from Grandma, Grandpa and two uncles.

Ashamed

I feel bad for how long it has been since I've updated, but here's a short list of what has happened:

1. Had a buyer for the house who decided he didn't have enough cash but decided to leave us hanging. He is "a relation" so we cannot egg his current abode, as much as we would like to. We think he was perhaps dropped on his head when he was a child.

2. Talked with a 95 year old woman who has full mental capacity. However, she has been without her husband for the last seventeen years and has diminished physical abilities (cannot hear or see or eat or move around by herself).

3. Found out that I'll be an aunt around Valentine's Day. I love babies and children and am psyched about this experience to come.

4. My Mom is the most helpful, loving person who once again came through for us. She is the perfect mother-in-law as well.

5. Moving is a pain. You hear everyone talk about it but it truly is. Especially if it is more than a move across town. Colorado better be the modern-day promised land because there is no way we are coming back here. Even if the mountains disappeared tomorrow. No way, no how.

Randomness

The pic above is our new place in Lafayette (kind of a suburb of Denver but more just outside Boulder). Pretty neat, eh? A house but with rules given by a landlord. Yuck.
We will be there on the 7th or 8th, depending on when the truck arrives.

I've given the address to a lot of people who didn't ever have the Evansville house so let me know if you want it.

I'm quickly learning that selling a house is a pain in the rear. Its so weird having people silently critiquing a place you really enjoy and giving them a price for it.

Unlike a lot of people, I don't really go to the movies unless I am bored and have no one to hang out with and have to see whatever's coming out, NOW.

I'm not expecting anyone to understand, but I'm probably going to see these films in the theater:

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Clerks II
A Scanner, Darkly
I'm kind of on the fence about You, Me and Dupree.

In other news...gave my boss 2 weeks notice. My last official day will be the 21st, but every day that week I'm just working mornings. I had originally planned to dye my hair bright red for the occasion, but if it will interfere at all with selling the house, I won't. I've just gotta act normal, if only for that reason.

You Say Its Your Birthday....

Well, its not. Tomorrow is. I did find this list of wisdom in time for the grand occasion of me turning 25. The only one I disagree with is #11. If someone wants a big deal made about their birthday, I will definitely make a big deal. It makes you feel special. And I want to feel the same way when its my Day.

Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn—by Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.


Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Sorry so long

I had this really nice post all written up last week and then blogger.com crashed. Not cool at all.
Its amazingly ironic that I'm meeting all these cool people (and making no special effort) so close to moving time. Very comforting and kind of sad to know that I will be leaving relationships that just started.
Its hard to believe that a month from my birthday my home will be Broomfield, Colorado.
On a completely unrelated note, I've found that Cheez-its are extremely addictive.
In addition, Dad told me today that Kristen is having twin BOYS. I feel a weird blend of enviousness, happiness and relief (that its not me) for her and Estol.

Week in Review

In the past week, I've done and experienced some unique things.
For example, we saw the Dickies (punk band) at a dive bar downtown. The lead singer
was very into props, utilizing a blow-up doll, a gorilla mask and a homemade phallus/testicle puppet.
Here he is, not wearing tights and pink Converse as he was when we saw him.

I felt a little lame wearing earplugs but had a really good time.

Yesterday I worked a class titled Cooking with Beer. The chef in charge stated several times that she did not like beer and that her suggestions for "lager or ale" used in the recipes were just based on what she thought would go best. Not surprisingly, quite a bit of her beer info was totally inaccurate. The other assistant and I did 70% of the hands-on cooking. I was extremely unimpressed and wonder what in the world she was doing teaching that class. Such a disappointment!

I have another class with the chef tonight called "Beginnings and Endings." Appetizers and desserts...I think she likes those, so that's a relief. I'm glad I know what to expect.

Tomorrow night is Book Club and I'm in charge of the entree portion. Hopefully the yummy chicken satay will make up for the ridiculously bad book that I chose. Love Me by Garrison Keillor: skip it.

Friday night will be my first and probably last experience at the Freedom Festival and my brother is coming to town.
Next week will be a lot more relaxed. I gotta gear up for turning 25.

Things I'm Currently Enjoying

1. The fact that my mom and sis are coming for the weekend.

2. I found a Denver food blog. Probably won't have a lot of $$ to try out the places described in it, but its neat to know that there is such a source.

3. There's a Junior Mint pillow in the mechanical arm toy machine at the grocery store. Somehow, seeing it every day for the last year or so makes me feel strangely comfortable...like it will be there for me, whenever I feel the need to revisit my youthful days of blowing Dad's money at LaMon's.

4. I was really hesitant about all things iPod related until discovering that all of Scrubs season five was on iTunes. Even the unaired episodes!

5. Indian food. I love it. The meaty bites, perfectly mouth-sized...the flat, crisp yet chewy naan bread. Gooey, creamy spinach paneer.

Things That Irk Me

1. Random Capitalization - For example: "So Walls and her siblings had to fend for themselves, providing their own food, shelter and clothing - even if it meant picking through Dumpsters." Why??? It makes no sense.

2. The fact that it cost so much to move. No wonder people tend to stay in the same town/area for awhile.

3. Rats don't live very long. It really saddens me, but I guess such is the way of small hearts that beat so quickly.

4. The police here aren't the brightest. They often block traffic with routine stops and have to conference about crimes that aren't earthshaking. I think half the cop cars in reasonable driving distance are present at a meth bust.

new day, new quiz

1. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to?
no. I don't think he'd like what I had to say. =)

2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons?
I would stack them.

3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
usually whatever my parents listened to. The Beatles, Paul Simon, etc. I did listen to New Kids on the Block, SWV, En Vogue, The Breeders (my first CD purchase!) and Cypress Hill

4.What is the best thing about your current job?
that i get to leave in less than 40 work days


5. Are you against same sex marriage?
no

6. Have you been on a date in the past week? If so, what did you do?
Moonlight BBQ and a drive out in the country

7. Where are you going on your next vacation?
probably to Santa Fe for a weekend...drive down from Denver

8. Quote a song lyric, because I told you to:

"hello cowgirl in the sand"

9. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
half and half but I've had all of them for less than 10 years

10. Do you own any furniture from Ikea
no but I probably will within the next year

11. Do you like your parents?
yes and i miss them already

12. What state/country are you from?
kansas and indiana

13. Tell us about the last conversation you had:
I asked Angela about my rat, Spritz and if she was behaving.

14. Where do you see yourself in one month?
I'll be gearing up to turn 25 and probably training for a triathlon or marathon. I'll also have made lasagna completely from scratch...make your reservations now. =)

15. What is your favorite smell?
i love the scent of lilacs or men's cologne mixed with sweat

16. Do you consider yourself bi-polar?
no, but sometimes I wish I was so I could empathize more

17. What is the time and the outside temperature at the moment?
12:16, 74 degrees and humid like...a sauna

18. Have you ever done anything vindictive to a co worker?
not that i can think of. Probably, especially when i was at Brandon Woods waitressing

19. Have you ever gone to therapy?
yes i have, and i advocate it for others.

20. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
no but that would be fun!

21. Have you ever Toilet papered someone's house?
yeah and my boyfriend at the time had to clean it off of his house hahaha

22. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
usually I told my friend and my friend told one of their friends and they found out
and there was much giggling

23. Have you ever gone camping?
yes, in several states

24. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's friend?
No, but i've had crushes on guys her age

25.Have you ever been to a nude beach?
no

26. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
i hear it is sandy and not that great, but no

27. Have you ever had a stalker?
I don't think so. That would be kind of flattering unless i had to get a restraining order

29. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
no, I'm not that comfortable with my body

30. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
a few times.

31. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober one?
no, definitely not

32. Have you ever been cheated on?
no, I'd prefer not to know

33. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend?
yeah and she wasn't my BFF anymore

34. Have you ever felt like you were just completely rhino raped?
what the heck does that mean? Maybe.

35. Have you ever lied to your parents?
yeah, what adolescent hasn't?

36. Have you ever been out of the US?
yeah, to the caribbean, canada, mexico and bermuda

37. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
yeah but it was in 8th grade track

38. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight?
yes but i couldn't wear a hat

39. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in the same day?
gross. if i have I blocked it out

On...the Town

John-Paul, a guy who works in the cafeteria at work, noted that "it must be time to do laundry because I was wearing a skirt." I wanted to explain to him my no-socks policy but decided it was best to laugh and smile and agree.

The main difference between going out on a Saturday night in Evansville and doing the same in Lawrence is that everyone looks the same here. It will be so refreshing to go to Free State and not see copies of copies this weekend. I also think people are shorter here, but have no evidence to back that up.

In the past year and a half, E'ville has really grown on me. Making friends and gradually not caring what other people think is a huge part of that. There is the same sort of Midwestern hospitality as I was used to in Kansas. As Jess (an E'ville lifer, mind you) once said, "People here are happy and mostly nice, just kind of ignorant." He didn't mean it in a bad way -- its true, there is a notable lack of cynicism here that goes with the blissful ideology of loving one's country no matter what.

The biggest news now is making Evansville Beautiful. In yesterday's paper, they showed a house in town with all this junk outside. Somehow, I don't think shaming the owner will help fix this obvious hording disorder, but perhaps the neighbors will rise up and...cheerfully help. I can definitely see that happening, but know that they will be talking wicked smack behind their neighbor's back.

The two other stories on the Courier-Press' front page yesterday was "Smoking backers argue for rights" (a public smoking ban is being considered) and "66 minors arrested at a party" (250 under-20 at a gathering over the weekend). Apparently, those arrested were not smart enough to drop their cup.

I recalled fond memories of my youth while reading the latter story. My feelings on the former are somewhat surprising, at least to those who know me.

Honestly, Evansville is not ready for a smoking ban. Maybe by 2015. Definitely by the time my kids are old enough to not smoke. But not now. Not when there are eating establishments that have no NON-smoking section. Not when 1/3 of all Hoosiers smoke.

I admire the liberal front that is trying to bring the city into a culture of health and beauty. Cleaning up a neighbor's yard is something people here can get behind. Having smoke free bars when there is a dive (on practically every corner in some neighborhoods) is not.

Its Friday

I've not done much this week. But I'm glad its Friday! Tonight is Moonlight BBQ and bluegrass in Rosine, KY.

You know the cliche of talking slower and louder to people who don't speak English (well), as if this will help them understand you better? I just heard one of the managers in the department doing this in a conference call to a branch in Puerto Rico. I can understand not talking extremely fast in situations like these, but it really came off as patronizing.

I apologize for the lack of posts. Every day is about the same. Zac invited a bunch of people he knows to see the Da Vinci Code. I think I'd rather see X-Men 3. All the hype and endless commentary about DVC has really turned me off.

I will put the pic of me and my maroon hair up as soon as I get it, along with a post about my newish friend, Maelynn.
The next color is a bright "red copper spritz." I don't know when I'll do it. Maybe the night before my last day of work. Only 45 more days!

Today's WOTD is ramshackle. I love this word because it means exactly what it sounds like. Ramshackle is an adjective meaning appearing ready to collapse or carelessly or loosely constructed. "There are quite a few ramshackle houses in the area."

Return of WOTD

beleaguered - adj. or verb

To be filled with worry and bother

example - She beleaguered her parents with constant demands.
Jodi looked haggard and beleaguered after a long night of studying.

So my hair is maroon...

You know when you wake up from a really deep sleep and it takes you a moment to get oriented again? That's the way it was this morning with my hair. I brushed it back from my face and momentarily freaked out. Then I remembered: stupid temporary hair color on stupid sale.

What started as a bored activity has actually become a bizarre sociological experiment. I think maybe this is what its like for girls who have gotten breast enhancement surgery, when they're in public for the first time after. Everyone tries to not look at the chest region, but its impossible not to. Same thing for me -- except its my hair, not my ginormous bosom. And by ginormous, I mean capable of filling out a small Jogbra nicely thankyouverymuch.

Anyhoo, I need to take a picture of this monstrosity before it is washes out in 8 to 10 days. It's growing on me though.

Happy Happy Birthday

Ok, so my birthday isn't until July. But I already have a list made up, and I can tell you about 10 things from are on it. Yum. I'm a sucker for a good quality gummi bear (not worm, not Coke bottle, not fish..BEAR) and the site doesn't give me enough info. I mean, are they Haribo or the cheapo Black Forest? Somewhere in-between? I wanna know!

You've Really Got a Hold On Me

Most of you know that I strongly disline clowns. I'm not scared anymore, but the urge to run away and/or smack the offensive beast as hard as I can is still present.

Not many people know how freaked out I got when I saw Smokey Robinson on Sesame Street in a skit. Let me explain: he was singing "You (U)'ve Really Got a Hold On Me" while this puppet in the shape of the letter U, 2/3 his size (with ginormous lips, no less) starts following him, then chasing him and ultimately carrying him off. I had forgotten about the carrying off part but the wonders of Google brought it all back.

I'm no longer scared of the giant U, although I do fear having dreams about it like I used to. Giant lips...bearing down...U tentacles wrapped around me. You get the idea. I definitely don't want to watch the sketch and would probably change the channel even if in the future some children were really enjoying...whatever there is to enjoy about Smokey Robinson being molested.

Despite what you might think, I don't dwell on these abnormalities in my past.
Seeing commercials and a review of a Burger King sandwich (on theimpulsivebuy.com)and thus, this individual brought it back.

The worst part is, you never know when he might pop up on TV in some bizarre fashion. Looking in a window, as I recall, or in bed next to you. Must go, the weird shivers have returned...

Interesting

I found out last night that the Jewish celebration of Passover lasts for a week and matzo is incorporated in as many ways as possible. Chocolate-covered matzo is ok, but if you aren't an observant Jew and want to have the same kind of experience, go for an unsalted saltine and a piece of dark chocolate stacked together.

There's a lady at work whose job it is to take care of all the plants around the building, including those in employee's cubes/offices. The plant I got in honor of Grandad is thriving under her care. It wouldn't look as good if I had it at home, but its not enough for me to want to stay.

Just in case you are wondering, I have 72 more work days until I'm out of here for good. My last day will be July 28...maybe earlier though, because I need to pack (and that would be a good excuse).

CQ might be meeting up with us in Scottsdale...in June! I love hot weather, how much fun it would be! One last hurrah before his baby comes. Babies = Scary stuff.

Today is my last day of mentoring at Glenwood. It would be neat to keep in touch with De'Anna and Octavia, but not realistic. I kept meaning to put little goody bags together for them and get a special dessert, but I think the mentors just do that to show off. Plenty of food will have to be enough.

Time Zone Madness

Indiana used to let the counties decide what time zone they wanted to be in and whether they wanted to use Daylight Savings time or not. The majority of the state wasn't in DST, prior to this year. Meaning, half the year they were with the Central time zone and half the year they were with Eastern.
No longer.
This year, all of Indiana is on DST for the first time. There are five counties in the north (by Chicago) and (I think) seven in the south that are in Central Time. The rest of the state is Eastern. And we all "fall back and spring forward", with the rest of the United States.
Evansville and Chicago will never be on the same time as Indianapolis again.

This means we've joined the rest of the U.S, and officially makes Arizona the oddball state.

I'm writing this because I have a hard time wrapping my head around this concept and an even harder time explaining it to people. So they will be referred to the blog henceforth.

Golden Grahams

Most of you know that I enjoy good food. Some of you might recall that when I was a sophomore in high school, AKA a decade ago this fall, the Lawrence High band went to New Orleans. It was my first trip away from home with no relatives with me and honestly, I was stoked. I had visions of crazy parties in the hotel and making out (with who, I had no idea) at Mardi Gras World.

I don't think anyone knows how Golden Grahams fit into the picture. To this day, they remain one of the things I remember most about the 1996 Sugar Bowl. Along with the horrendously long bus trip, the stellar aquarium, playing the marimba in front of thousands of people, and Bourbon Street.

We'd been told to bring a lot of snacks on the trip because our schedule would be touch and go. I ate pretty much all what I'd brought on the bus ride down to NO, because I was too sleepy/lazy to get off the bus when we stopped at Wendy's or whatever. Not to mention I hate standing in line, and that was pretty much a given.

So I ended up on the first day with a box of Golden Grahams. And no money, because I lost it or forgot to ask my parents for some. I can't remember.

The bottom line is that I ate dry Golden Grahams for 3 days straight, all meals except for dinner. The GG then had deeper ridges on them, which meant they scraped your mouth. Not as much as Cap'n Crunch, but you get the idea.

I will never forget rolling back into Lawrence, my mouth dry and tongue scratched, breaking into one of the chewy pecan pralines I'd gotten as a present for my parents.

Pop Tarts

Not many people know that I used to work for Kellogg's. I did though, for one semester during college. I got a ton of free stuff (mostly edibles, chotchkes, and logoed junk) but I still have a Tony the Tiger plush toy and a semi-classy black Frosted Flakes duffel somewhere.
Anyhoo, I wasn't great at my job. I couldn't get Kellogg's any further visibility on campus and was escorted off KU property when I tried to give out free samples.
I did get $10 per hour and the chance to try Apple Cinnamon Pop Tarts. Lots of them. They are, by far, the best Pop Tart. Even if you come right out in my face like my brother will do and say that Brown Suga Sinnamon is. NO.

Long story short, last year my beloved flavor was discontinued. I was much more stressed and disheartened by finding this out than i should've been. For awhile I took to checking for their return every time I was at Schnuck's.
I like grocery shopping a lot more than most people. I was raised to like it. Ask my Dad.

I stopped checking for the return shortly after the New Year. I turned to reduced-sugar Apple Cinnamon Instant Oatmeal. Fiber and all, you know. More filling, too.

A few days ago, I check out one of my favorite blogs - theimpulsivebuy.com - and see this:

I'm just going to say that Kellogg's shouldn't have messed with perfection. Or tried to increase their profit margin by decreasing the amount of filling.

We're Gonna Go Way Back

Whenever I think about my education, I always think of Central Jr. High first. Go back to 1994 with me for a second. What were you doing that year? I'd just gotten into listening to Nirvana, found a band called Weezer and had a wicked crush on Gabe, who had a locker close to mine. I was in 7th grade and life was incredibly exciting.
I went to a school right downtown, a 100 year old brick building with 4 stories and a racially diverse student body. I felt lucky to go there because everyone told me I should be.
A large part of the time I was simultaneously confident and confused. One of the things that confused me the most (aside from why my mom thought purchasing a Land's End flannel shirt would be considered grunge and thus make me cool) was the creation of the Strong Black Brothas & Sistas Club.

Its my understanding that the club was created to create solidarity between the African-American students. It was created by a local pastor, Rev. Kennybrew. I think he helped with conflict resolution at the school, but had no official position. The club had regular meetings and they weren't exclusionary -- you could be white and attend. I don't think many white kids wanted to go though.

The club only lasted for a short time. I think parents were upset or something, largely because of the name. I never had any problem with it. I just wanted to know what they did at the meetings.

I hope my brother (he's actually my brother, not my brotha) corrects me if I'm wrong about any of this.

Kim, my only friend in the office at the Evil Corporation, is registered to participate in a giveaway for a new hot tub. Although St Patrick's Day is over, the gimmick is that you have to jump in "the world's largest bowl of Lucky Charms". If you find the key, you win. Oh, there's milk in the hot-tub bowl, as well. And lots of people looking at you. I really hope she does it. Just because its the kind of thing I'd like to take a picture of and post here on my blog.

booooooored

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American Cities That Best Fit You:

70% Austin

65% Las Vegas

55% Atlanta

55% Denver

55% Honolulu

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh. You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum. Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

You Are a Natural Beauty!

You're the kind of beauty that every guy dreams about... One that looks good in the morning - without a stich of makeup That's doesn't mean you're a total hippie chic though You have style, but for you, style is effortless

What Type of Beauty Are You?

Don't Be Like Everyone Else

I've heard forever that it is best to "be yourself." But what if being yourself is a trifle boring? I don't really care what other people think, but I don't ever want to be bored with myself.
I found this great quote:
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinion, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." ~Oscar Wilde
I used to know quite a lot about Oscar Wilde. But when I posted the quote I realized that I only remembered that he wrote The Importance of Being Ernest which and was gay.
I found out that he was a brilliant playwright, wrote only one book (“The Picture of Dorian Gray") that was published 90 years before I was born, and knew a ton about the human condition.

Two, Yes Two, Words of the Day

The first - offing-a noun meaning, "in the near or foreseeable future." I first saw this word on the Lawrence Journal-World's website, believe it or not, in this phrase: "Mild day in the offing, temperatures in the 50s."Offing can also mean "the part of the sea visible from shore that is very distant or beyond anchoring ground." I'm pretty sure, given the context, that was not what they meant.

The second -frottage-is a noun meaning,"the act of rubbing against the body of another person, as in a crowd, to attain sexual gratification." I got this from a sentence in a book I'm reading called Diary of a Viagra Fiendby Jayson Gallaway. "I'll wait until we're filming B-roll in some seedy nightclub and yank you onto the dance floor and frottage your thigh then." Frottage can also mean "a method of making a design by placing a piece of paper on top of an object and then rubbing over it, as with a pencil or charcoal." But again, from the context, I'm fairly sure that's not the case.

My sister is coming to visit a week from last night. I don't know what we'll be doing, except that she'll see me wash dishes at Kitchen Affairs one night and witness the arrogance of the chef alongside me.

Its Friday

So I'm on myspace now, despite the fact that it seems like 85% of the people are younger than me. I tell myself that its ok, age isn't anything but a number (except in the cases of certain boys I've dated) and I'm enjoying surfing and adding "friends."
I'll be back in Lawrence the night of April 12 for some R&R but mostly seeing Jodi and Kristen and Em and Mom and Dad and Peggy and then my sweet Grammy before going to Wichita for Grandpa's 80th birthday. I missed Grandad's due to something I can't remember and won't make that mistake again.
Just finished reading the eulogy Dad gave for Grandad and tears started flowing freely...I have a big regret that I didn't know him better. A part of me was always kind of nervous around him (which doesn't mean much, I am/used to be nervous around a lot of people) but I never knew what to say. He was mostly stoic and serious, until the last few years of his life.
It will be hard going to his house, knowing he won't be there and seeing Grammy in pain.
On a completely opposite note, there's a place to get (fairly) free-range elk and venison in a town nearby Wichita. Yum.
Last night was a really good time of homestyle cooking...class at Kitchen Affairs with my fave chef, Scott...all of his classes in the months to come are already spoken for, in terms of assistants. Grrrrr.
I think I'm catering tomorrow for my secret mentor, Cindy. yayay