I think a lot of my life can be summed up by this great quote by the actor Steve Martin. I've changed it only to reflect present tense.
"Yes, these events are true, yet sometimes they seemed to have happened to someone else, and I often feel like a curious onlooker or someone trying to remember a dream. "
I was asked yesterday what my resolutions are and I responded that I want to make sure that they can be followed through on before making them known. Today I realize that there is no other option ~ to grow and become better, I need to have courage in every aspect of my life, to have wisdom to know what needs to be changed and the ability to follow through. The hardest part about this (almost overwhelming) resolution is that I can't do it alone. It is so much easier to rely solely on yourself and then, when failure occurs, to say well, I did my best.
A lot of life isn't about doing your best. It is picking up the pieces in whatever arrangement they fall in and putting them together again. Most times, the new configuration is better, or at least better suited to the new circumstances. You can't put a square peg into a round hole. =)
Both great and terrible happened in 2007. Much of it was because of choices I made. What I learned: you can't control other people ~ their decisions, their opinions, their ideas about what needs to occur. The people you need in your life are the ones who let you be yourself, who will be honest but also understanding.
I also learned: to lead others; that growth is painful and change inevitable, pain doesn't come with a timeline, jealousy is my Achilles heel, its ok to be alone but I'm not designed to be like that.
I'll keep you updated...hold me to my resolution!